You know what? I have had a really rough couple of weeks. For the past few weeks I have just felt like I am barely holding everything together - work, home, Emma, Chris, family, friends - it all seemed to be getting away from me until my "to do" lists were too long, and I was in a constant state of bitchy.I started slacking on things at home because I was tired, and that began to snowball, then I started staying up too late doing silly things (ahem, Rockband) while also getting up earlier to get some extra hours at work...then sickness hit our house, getting myself, Chris, and then Emma (not to mention Dan and Shauna), so that has been loads of fun. And every time I turned around there seemed to be something or someone else adding to my plate.
And just when I was ready to scream "F&*k you all!!", I remembered something. That being a giant stress freak isn't me at all, and that maybe I just needed to take a deep
breath and chill. And so I did. I resisted the lure of Metatron (our band) and went to bed early a couple nights in a row, and I took Emma with me, because there's nothing that relaxes me more than snuggling to sleep with my baby girl. Then I didn't go to work an extra day and instead stayed home and cleaned my house while listening to really loud music. And I finally finished my master bedroom secret project, which I had been procrastinating on forever - I have yet to take pictures though.. I ignored my "to do" list on Sunday, and took Emma to the museum and downtown Chinese New Year celebrations. Then I ignored it some more and 
watched the Canucks finally win a game (major boost - Yay!!). And I did some thinking about what I am going to let be important, and what I am not. I have to foccus on my little family first, because they are what really make me happy, and the rest of it all can can fall by the wayside, because I am tired of stretching myself to please, and of putting effort into things that just don't matter to me any more.Now I am feeling much better. I really like how life forces you to "get 'er done" sometimes.
And that's all I have to say today.
2 comments:
Holy shit, sure sounds like life has been kicking your ass lately.
I'm glad you figured things out and are now remembering to take care of yourself!
Deedle,
Every mom, especially a working one, has to figure out what you just did. You are right, your little family is all that matters. They - and you - come first.
You know the old saying about never reading on a tombstone that someone wishes they had spent more time at work!
I'm so glad you realized what you needed to do for yourself, I was getting worried seeing you get more wound up - so NOT like you.
And yes, taking time to snuggle your little munchkin is the best medicine in the world. Emma, like all kids, is so tuned to her moms emotions that when you are stressed, she gets stressed, you get frustrated, she gets frustrated. The good news is she sees you learn whats important and change, she learns whats important.
Remember that you are so very important to me. I love you.
Mom
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